Ijay stretched and woke up with a weak smile. Eve’s lips on her forehead did the magic, she pulled Eve into the warmth of her embrace.. an embrace that told Eve that she was loved deeply by this soul. Ijay closed her eyes wondering what next. Eve remained quiet in her arms thinking the same.
“So what next?” they said simultaneously and both busted out laughing. None of them answered the question, there were no words. Ijay stayed the entire weekend at Eve’s and she wished it didn’t have to end.
Angel… Pam remembered how good their love making had been, how she had pledged to love her and immediately disengaged from the kiss…
“Stop it J!.. I cant do this!” She half screamed, realising how loud her voice was she cautioned herself… “I am sorry Jane, I just cant”, she whispered.
Jane stood surprised… no, make that shocked & devastated, her heart ached at the thought of not having her.
The tall butch leaned on her dressing table; silent for about two minutes, thinking ~ of many unanswered questions.
”How could i?” Came to mind.
”Why?’ was next in line. She walked towards the door..
Jane spoke in that low, smooth, voice of reason. “Wait! think about this; she wouldn’t even know….”
Ijay walked home and was welcomed by a teary eyed Lynda who held on to her crying.
“Why are you doing this to me Ijay? I said I was sorry, promised I’ll be better but you’re still hurting me, still seeing Eve.”
Ijay’s heart sank as she watched Lynda sob. She couldn’t stand to watch a girl cry, that was her weak point and Lynda took full advantage of that. Ijay took Lynda in her arms trying to comfort her the best way she could, Lynda kept talking while in tears and Ijay hushed her with her lips on hers in a kiss that left Lynda motionless and speechless.
As Lynda laid in Ijay’s arms, Ijay wondered what she was gonna do. She was in love with two women and one person would get hurt. Who would it be?
“I know.” Pam replied with amazement in her tone walking back, “But I can’t help but wonder why you want this even after I told you about my girlfriend, your primary motive is very clear, to help yourself, even at my expense.”
“That’s not true Pam, we had something good and I miss that. Seeing you has brought back so many memories I never forgot. I tried to keep in touch, searched for you when we….”
“You said “Had” jay, I have moved on, I would die of guilt if we do this, I feel terrible as it is already.
Gosh! I love Angel. I don’t want to ever hurt her. Ever! Fuck! this is so hard for me, but it would never work with us. I pledged Jane, I pledged…
Jane could feel her heart thumping so hard and fast. It clenched so tight and hurt so much she thought it would literally break into pieces. With effort she kept calm, looking at Pam and in a soft voice asked..”So that’s it?” with tears building up which she struggled to hold back, trying so hard not to break down, but she knew her voice betrayed her.
Pam noticed this, stretched out her hands, jane fell into them and held Pam. She looked up and again tried to kiss Pam, who tilted her head and pecked her cheeks instead and finally said…
“Yea J, that’s it.”
Jane closed her eyes from the intense pain she felt with those words.
“Wait… Jane… Can’t we at least be friends?” Pam asked.
Jane closed her eyes again for a few seconds before looking up at Pam and asking. “Do you actually believe that after what we had we could just be friends, Pam?” Shaking her head Pam replied. “Let’s just leave it like this. It’s better this way. I have to go now” as she walked towards the door, she stopped and searched her pocket for her car keys, she was tired of trying to make her see reasons why….
“The room space, are you still interested?”
She turned and faced her..”ummm…, gosh!….”
“Hey, relax! I have gotten the message, friends you said…”
“Okay, I will talk to Angel about it, whatever she decides…”
Lynda made an enemy out of Eve; looking for every and any avenue to embarrass her. Eve was getting tired and irritated especially because Ijay blatantly refused to move in with her. Eve would lay in her bed every night and would picture Ijay making love to Lynda. Eve was loosing her mind and decided to end this once and for all which she knew deep down she couldn’t…
Ijay was totally confused but she knew who she would choose if it came down to choosing one. Lynda had been there for her so much and it would be wicked to end it with her just like that though she gave Ijay the best reasons to walk away without looking back.
Lynda had to go on a trip so she left town and Ijay had just Eve to worry about. Lynda called as much as she could while she was away and Ijay felt she had really turned a new leaf.
Ijay stretched in her bed as she woke up one morning.. it was a new day and she hoped it would bring by lots of good things as she smiled at herself and lazily got out of bed. her phone rang and she grudgingly reached for it…
“hello”, she said tiredly.
But there was no response. She threw the phone back to the bed as she walked off to go get ready for work. Ijay’s phone beeped, it was a mail from someone she didn’t know. She opened the file and couldn’t believe what she saw. It was a video of……
To Be Continued…
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