“What!!! Is this a joke?” She screamed as she continued reading, her facial expression had a mixture of disgust, anger, and disappointment.. I got up and remained quiet, looked down trying to avoid her stare as she finished reading.
“Will you answer me young girl”, my mum screamed.
“Mum I don’t understand, I just found myself attracted to girls, I really don’t know how it happened, it just happened, please try and understand”. I pleaded trying to hold her hands, she took a step back, trying to avoid the contact and stared at me. There was this expression she had on her face I had never seen; her only daughter had turned gay!.
As I twisted my lips, I remembered the story she once told me of how she had given up on having another child; she had tried severally, then few years later the unexpected happened, she didn’t even know she was pregnant until she was 2 months gone, the rest was history… I became the baby of the house, got everything I wanted, but I wasn’t spoilt, my dad made sure of that.
“You must have gotten married quite early” I said to her, when she was done with her story.
“Yea I did, my parents weren’t happy though but was glad i made that decision, i stood my ground, it was my life not theirs, my happiness mattered , that was the most important thing to me” she went on, “and your dad is the best thing that has ever happened to me” she concluded with a big grin.
I smiled and gave her a hug. I love you too Ice, she said as she kissed my forehead.
Cant she understand now? this is my own decision too, my life!, i thought to myself.
“Omg” she said breaking the silence, “I’m sorry mum, i decided to be bold, i might be young but I think this is what I want”.
“Will you shut up!” She screamed louder, almost hitting me, I had never seen my mum this way, I had to take a few steps back now confused, then the door opened. Great!
My dad walked in and asked “what’s going on here”, and at that moment she handed him the letter while I tried to storm out of my room, but she stopped me.
“You ain’t going no where young lady” mum said,
I paused and stared at the door handle.
“Whatever happened to my little girl”, she half screamed.
I almost said your little girl is not as little as you think, but instead stared at her.
“How could you get yourself in this mess Ice” I heard my dad’s voice.
I gazed at him and said nothing.
“I demand an answer” he screamed.
Gosh! I had never been spoken to in such a manner by my parents, but its better this way, I felt tears in my eyes, and blinked them back, Naaaa!, I wasn’t going to break down, I held my head up, tilted my head and looked straight into my dad’s eyes and said
“Its my life dad, not yours or hers, I had had enough, it was time to voice out.”don’t know how it happened, but it has happened, I am sorry if I am no longer who you two thought I was, sorry for disappointing you, this is who I chose to be, this is me, nothing has changed, its still the same old Ice, the difference is I like girls, and there is nothing either of you can do about it. Please, love me the same way you used to, I don’t blame either of you for this, maybe it was meant to be” I felt my tears again, I tried to hold back, but I just couldn’t, I broke down and cried, “please dad”, I said between sobs, “please mum”, I held her hands, she pulled her hands away from my grip, like I was now irritating her.
They just stood there, staring at me, then finally my mum faced my dad and said, “we will find a way out, maybe go for prayers and counseling, I raised a brow when I heard that.
“Am sure its just a phase” she concluded.
“Or were you forced into it” my dad asked. I pretended like I didn’t hear that.
“Were you”? I shook my head while I wiped my tears.
“We should give her some time to freshen up, she needs to sleep, we will talk more tomorrow” my dad said as he opened the door and waited for my mum to step out then followed her out.
Whew! I said as I sat on my bed my head banged, nose blocked, mind blank, I just stared at nothing in particular then I took the remote and clicked on play, as my back fell on my bed, feet on the floor and as the song played, I decided to change the CD. I pressed stop as searched for another RnB, found another favorite by Phil collins, I slid it in and picked up my bag, trying to rearrange my stuffs I had emptied, but this time, I took my time arranging them, then I saw it.” at last”,I whispered as I read out the address and her digits. Now that brought a smile on my face.
To be continued.